Monday, August 30, 2010

Thirsty Thursday @ Trenton Thunder!

Hellooooo 2 dollar Bud Lights - that is singing my tune :)
Bud Light Numba Dos!
Bud Light Numba ... uh... Tres! (hahaha - don't judge people they were 2 dollars & I did not chug them... so chill!)
Hey there calories, you lookin at me? Tim & I flipped a coin about getting one of these, best 2 of 3... we did not even need the 3rd flip! Haha)
The two kids in yellow hats, they are twins and they were hysterical to sit a few rows behind. Pretty well behaved & they participated in all of the music & dance things... super funny.


Cute thrift dress :)
Tim's first time to Big Lots - & now he is hooked!
Duffy the (boy) cat sleeping on my purse!
Matinee of Scott Pilgrim Vs The World = VERY great movie in empty theater YAY
Yummy local Mexican restaurant
Ahhh Fall time = Pumpkin Ale!

Rockies-Mets game!

Ticket to Ride!
Ahh! Arthur Ashe Stadium!
Citi Field
Citi Field
the guy in black = Chris Iannetta!
Waiting to get a Glimpse of the Rockies...
(Sooo I wanted to wait around to see the guys... we walked around the stadium and came to sit on a bench, with an eye on the look out... after 30 minutes we get up & see what is around the corner.... THE FLIPPIN ROCKIES BUS! Ahhh! Just as we are walking around the corner (parking lot) One bus is leaving WTF?! This WHOLE time we were 2 seconds away?! :( I saw a few Rockies fans waiting so I scooted on over, hoping to get a glimpse of the guys (read: Chris Iannetta) just to realize that he was one the first bus :( But then...
Ubaldo! OMG. Sure he has an attitude but he is a hell of a good pitcher. I got his autograph! I could not believe it! It was so exciting!
Poor Dog.
Tim enjoying a treat @ B&N
Me enjoying a treat @ B&N
It was such a fun B&N! 2 floors - HUGE floors. The cafe tables said that there was a 15 minute limit to sit, haha. Next to the B&N was a Sephora and a H&M!!! Exciting! I love the City!
Tim & I met Neil & Amber for dinner here. It was yummy! The light inside was terrible so no pictures were taken.

Peter Cottentail

I really should blog more :)

I do have a lot of thoughts going through my head so it for sure is a good outlet , plus it keeps a couple of friends in the loop.

I am still with out work :( It is discouraging. I keep applying to YMCA and I keep getting letters from them that say NO. *sigh* I applied for unemployment & while it has been a pretty smooth process. It is just a long process. I will finally be able to get it in a week.

Money is dumb.

I do kind of have a job... I will be cleaning the house I live in & that will help me pay the rent. I am actually excited about this. First, it will give me something to do. Second, I have my purple cleaning gloves :) Third, it will help pay the rent.

I am also making jewelry to sell at a local fair in October. The results from that will help me figure out if I could keep doing that. My main thing with that is now, everyone is selling jewelry & even though I just make what I feel & what I think looks good together, it is disheartening that others do it too & that it may look like others. I just need to have faith & do what I believe in.

Tim's mom keeps asking me about the job search. She is pretty obvious that she thinks I should be doing something with my days. Uh hello! I know this. I have been doing things. It is not my fault that I am unemployed right now. I am trying to find a job. I do not want to settle and be miserable. It is pretty upsetting talking with her sometimes. I do not want to be made to feel like a failure. Sure I have not done great at some things, but career wise I think I have actually done good for myself. Sure, I cannot find a job in the field I studied, but really a lot of people are in that situation.


Chris moved. He was supposed to call me on his 18 hour drive to GA. He did not. We have not talked for a few weeks. Maybe this is the end of our friendship? It is so weird & uncertain.

I want to get a bunny.

Friday, August 06, 2010

Pictures! In Reverse!

6 Days!!!
My pretty new Chacos!
The damage the pretty new Chacos did after 20 minutes of walking! Needless to say I returned them and wrote them a note saying how upset I was. Pretty much demanding a refund.
Yummy Buffalo Chicken salad at Vitos =)
A delicious way to start the morning!
Kids meal at the ConTav (in the right corner you will see my Yuengling)
Purple Nails in honor of the Rockies! & cute shorts from the sale rack at Gap =)
Yummy caramel mocha made by Karin
The bags in my bag (camera, pencil, makeup, wallet, shopping)

Waiting for the train in Philly on my way back to Trenton.


Oh I did not realize it has been a month since I last posted! I guess that is because things have been a roller coaster of sorts.

First UIH closed down. That still upsets me (not only because it was a job for me). I really loved that job. (the promoted one). I really need to talk to God about taking the anger out of me with this situation. I drive by the building every so often & tears almost always come to my eyes. *sigh* It makes me so sad and so angry.

Hmm, that is a familiar set of emotions - oh yah like when J broke up with me out of the blue. So lets just say not so much of a good time.
Speaking of that... oh goodness... it has been just over a year since I moved here to spend the rest of my life with J. So this time last year I was having amazing times with him & being a girl I am totally remembering. But not in the pathetic desperate psycho way. I am not laying in bed eating tubs of ice cream sobbing into tissues. Something will remind me of a time with J and that will lead to a domino reaction of last August.

I am trying not to think this thought 'if he waited just 1 more month this would not have happened!" I was driving to B&N today in Fairless Hills, PA which is like 5 minutes from Js parents house. I come to this area because I like it sooooo much more than the Lawerenceville, NJ area - it is more chill in this area. However, Every time I drive by the "Pennsylvania Welcomes You" sign I just want to scream. (& you know what? sometimes I do).

Chris sent me an email a month or so ago and he basically said that J and I were not meant to be forever, that it was not what God planned. That really upset me & that really hurt me. I mean it broke my heart that he would say that.

Let me say here, of course Chris was not happy that I am dating Tim (because Tim is not sure of his faith). I completely understand that. However, what he wrote about J was just too much for me. Does Chris have it on good authority that J and I are not meant to be together?

Today I was on my way to coffee and donut, listening to sports radio and the thought that J and I are supposed to be together came into my head and I got this feeling in my stomach. It nearly made me sick.

Speaking of Chris, he is moving to Georgia in less than 2 weeks to be closer to his girlfriend. Which is normal. I mean I moved here to be closer to J. I was dating J for almost a year at that time. Chris has been dating this girl for 2 months. His logic is that he has known her for a while (over the internet and video chat). Which still is... something. He met her for the first time a few months ago. And on their second visit they decided to be bf/gf and then last week she flew to TX to go on vacation at a beach together. It is not my place to judge. I am going to be honest and blunt, this just does not feel good to me. I am sure that she is a very nice girl and whatnot but it is just fast. And when I mention that to Chris he counters with that he has known her for awhile now.

A lot of times when it comes to subjects with Chris I feel that I have no right to really say anything to him even if it is lovingly , unconditionally, and with out judgment because I have had some pretty ungodly moments that Chris has helped me with. And I fear that Chris will hold that against me. The thing is... because of those moments, and because of all of my experiences with others and in my life I feel that I could give him advice. I am not saying that at all because I think I am so great (ask Chris I definitely do not feel that way about myself).

So add this to what he wrote to me about J and you can understand why I am all in knots.

*Takes A Deep Breath*

I have been unemployed for a little over a month now. I struggled with getting a job at a mall or sandwich place or collecting unemployment. I decided that for my mental health it is a better deal to collect unemployment for the following reasons:
1. NOT because I am lazy
2. I will get more money from unemployment than working a stressful low paying job dealing with teenagers all day.
3. I can keep applying for jobs in the field that I want to work it
4. I can get back to making jewelry and other goods to sell on Etsy and the upcoming Hopewell Fair in October

So next week that is what I will be doing. PLEASE be praying that it goes smoothly. Thank You.
I did go to Florida to see the Barnes. I took like 3 pictures, none of the people, but 2 of the dogs. Haha. It was sooooo great to see them. I mean soooooo great. I am definitely interested in moving there. I just need to have a job lined up.
I am going to see the Rockies play the Mets next Thursday. I CANNOT WAIT!!!!
Oh. Goodness.